But the key point here is if you are in a relationship that’s one to one, whether it’s your significant other, whether it’s your boss or manager for every one nice moment, you have one negative moment, that is not a balanced experience
And it’s the notion that we are most effectively and profoundly influenced, not by ideas and data and evidence that people give to us or force upon us, but rather by ideas and evidence we generate on our own. Shankar Vedantam: It’s a remarkable study because in this case, the messages actually did come from someone else. They were not self-generated, but merely the act of reading the message, as opposed to listening to the very same message changed the ownership that people felt relative to the idea. Loran Nordgren: Yes. The intuitive role of the innovator is to have the idea and to push for change. A master of influence and innovation is going to understand that through some process of co-design through co-ownership, we want people to commit themselves to these ideas.
Good relationships are a very loose rule of thumb
Shankar Vedantam: Now, this is easier said than done. If you want to bring about change, what Loran is saying is you want the people you are trying to change to feel like they are the authors of that change. Loran Nordgren: So how do you go about creating the conditions for self-persuasion? One fundamental feature is we need to begin at positions of alignment. What I mean by that, is very often we begin conversations at the point of conflict. You and I might both recognize that we need to change practices, but what we disagree upon is how to solve this particular problem. So we begin the conversation there. That’s starting at the place of misalignment. Self-persuasion begins by understanding Bulgarian seurustelu ja avioliitto what is our space of alignment and establishing that baseline of agreement. Leggi tutto “Ideas are also like kids, in that we always love our own more than any other”